Mayday, Miss Marcy! Moving Mishaps, Roleplaying Rumble, and One Page to Ruin Them All

Dear Logistically,

Apparently those reasons are not as obvious as one might expect, at least based on some of our comments last week. For those of us living in the real world, though, they are very much obvious and make a lot of sense, and I wish you the best on your move. As far as shipping and logistics go, I do have some experience with shipping things across country and internationally on some smaller scales, so my expertise here is hopefully good enough to give you some tips.

I absolutely do not suggest shipping things in one go; what I do think is a good idea is try to ship your various types of media together, as that often helps keep things uniform for shipping and less likely to have internal shipping problems; also, books are incredibly heavy, so no matter what, you want to ship those, and most shipping companies will often offer some form of discounted or slower shipping method that can get those books to where they need to go without costing you too much. Also, you do want to ship them to you, but if you are worried that you won't be in the country to receive them if something causes them to be returned, having a safe address to use as your return address (like your parents or friends) is a good idea. Also, you probably want to only ship them to a place you KNOW you will be at in the time in which they will be delivered; having something delivered too early is a great way for those packages to grow legs.

For your assembled figures, I think you should check out our guides about traveling with minis: you may want to even consider taking some of them on the plane with you if you can. Anime figures (assuming they have boxes) are generally pretty safe to ship, and obviously unassembled sprues should also be pretty easy to ship too. I will offer also that shipping things is often more work and more money than you think, but you absolutely want to have the money to spend on it so that you can ensure your things get where you want them to without being destroyed. Always go for insurance, just in case, and then relax as you no longer need to worry about taking things onto planes with limited capacity or getting tossed around by workers at the airport.

Most Things Need Three Wheels, Maybe Four

Miss Marcy,

I am part of a TTRPG group that I have been playing with for some time. We're friends, but our friendships are mostly due to playing games together and are about three years old, if that helps. The issue that I'm having is that my group lately has some romantic tensions between two players.

While this isn't meant to be a sour grapes situation, lately our TTRPG sessions have been slowly overtaken by this couple flirting with one another. Their characters are often interacting now, they tend to interact with each other more than others, and the DM seems to either not care, or is supportive and thus doesn't do anything to force them apart of throw them any sort of wrench.

I really don't want to be a hater but it is making my time with the group unenjoyable. Every session is about them, and then after session social time is dominated by them too. I really also do not want to give up my rpg time!

Charisma 0

Dear Charisma,

I have to admit that you do sound a bit like a hater, but that can just be my trying to assume there is more to the situation than you're letting on. I say that because while you are obviously valid in your complaints, I am missing some details that could give me a better picture of things. You say the group is about three years old, but how long have the other players known each other? Are all of you that 'new' to one another, or is there some other elements? I also have to admit that I can see your issue if these two players are being so distractingly cloying that it gets in the way of you doing anything else, but you don't mention how many other players there are; is it just you, them, and the DM? If that is the case, I think the main reason the DM isn't trying to do anything drastic is that... well, there aren't any other players to break up the situation with, and perhaps they are just doing their best to run the ship as it is.

Now that I've been somewhat against you, let me take your side a bit; "gaming couples" can be, frankly, annoying. It isn't really their fault in that I don't think most of them do it on purpose, but what usually happens is the activity becomes secondary to their relationship, and from their perspective, they're doing this thing together and want to share that. There's nothing wrong with that inherently, but it does create friction with other people who aren't involved or maybe aren't there to support that, like yourself. You seem to imply you aren't jealous or anything, just that when you go to your gaming session, it turns into these two giving each other doe eyes constantly while you are just looking to roll some dice.

I sort of suggest perhaps looking for another group, if possible, and if not, you should talk to the DM privately. If the couple is fairly "new", they may not be past the honeymoon phase either, and perhaps don't realize that they're being so one-sided with how they interact, so I really do suggest open communication as your best possible avenue to avoid this becoming a bigger problem for you and for others, frankly.

Less is Not Always More. It is Usually Less.

Dear Miss Marcy,

Lately, a friend in our group has become an advocate for One Page Rules, often spending downtime or particularly bad games (for them) talking about how much more fun and how much better of a system it would be. They've convinced a few of us to try it out a couple of times, and frankly, I find it awful.

I assume I should just tell them I don't want to play, but the way they are constantly talking about it makes it worse. I actually would say I wouldn't mind playing something else at times or even another game, but their constant harping on and praising of OPR which is then miserable to play just seems to make the whole experience worse.

Rule Agnostic

Dear Rule,

This is a fairly easy one, really: You just tell them you don't want to play. You don't really owe them an explanation, and if they continue to push you to play, reiterate that you do not want to do so. Also, respectfully tell them that if they don't enjoy playing 40k, that's fine, but you don't want to go to game night to hear about how bad the game is to them and how much of a bad time they are having; you are there to play the game you like to play. If they want to play OPR themselves and have people to play with, they should be doing that, and how much you should tell or remind them this depends on how persuasive you need to be with them.

But at the core of it, this really is just another communication problem: you need to tell them you don't want to play, and you also need to tell them that you don't appreciate the vibe they bring when they are around. Just listening to someone constantly moan and groan about how much they hate doing something while doing that thing makes it totally unenjoyable for everyone else, and if that is their actual goal, then you would be better off not interacting with them at all; just because they want to play a different game will not suddenly make them pleasant.

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