Mayday, Miss Marcy! Dads Rule, Holiday Help, and Christmas Crashout

Hello and welcome to the first annual pre-Thanksgiving Mayday, Miss Marcy, in which the only problem I can't help you with is whether you took your turkey out of the freezer days before tomorrow. Don't worry, if you forgot, there is still time! Just leave the turkey in the freezer and go buy a non-frozen one after you read this article. Or, opt for pizza.

Anyway, welcome to the Advice Column here at Goonhammer, Mayday, Miss Marcy! We take your reader submitted questions and provide them with handcrafted answers. I'm working on getting these answered before I get too busy with the whole cooking and hostessing duties of the next few days. Luckily for all of us, I drink a lot of coffee, so I'm ready to go!

Before we get started with this weeks questions, a note on if you'd like your questions answered in this very column:

Have a question you want answered on just about anything you’d need advice on in this grand hobby space of ours? Board games, 40k, AOS, TTRPGs, MTG, anything and everything that we cover, we can help with!

It’s the Holiday Season, so if you’ve got any questions about the holidays, we’d be happy to field them as well.

For some examples, take a look at previous editions of our column at this link with a handy tag to see all previous questions and answers!

If you want to submit questions, we have a few days you can do it. Patrons can use the Discord bot command to ask questions, which will be received anonymously!

If you’re not a Patron, or just don’t want extra steps, you can comment on this article, or e-mail Marcy directly at marcy@goonhammer.com!

Last week, we tackled a few questions about the passage of time, spousal issues, and roommates, and this week we have a selection of three new questions! And now, on with the show while my turkey brines!

Dads Rock

Hi Marcy!

As I've gone deeper into the hobby, my dad's been showing a lot of interest in my "little space guys," especially after I painted him a Space Wolf for his birthday. He's familiar with all the classic board games and used to play a lot of Risk with me when I was growing up, so I feel like a match of 40k could be a lot of fun and a great bonding experience. I just don't want the first game we play to be too much all at once. So what's a good method for introducing a family member/loved one/the curious yet generally uninitiated to the gameplay side of 40k?

As much as I love the Kill Team ruleset, it can be way too granular and befuddling for a new player (I know this firsthand!), but taking the jump into 1000 point games of Big 40k right off the bat doesn't seem like the way to go. Combat Patrol seems promising for something like this with its smaller army sizes, no list-building whatsoever, and a binary "this one or that one" choice of character enhancements and secondary objectives. But is it actually fun to play??

Of course, this is all just an excuse for me to bust out an old Fisher-Price playset and some Legos for terrain. Don't worry, we'll take pictures.

Thanks! My Space Dad Can Beat Up Your Space Dad

Dear MSDCBUYSD,

You better take pictures!

Anyway, as for the answer, I think you're on the right track that Kill Team is not the correct call. All love to Kill Team players, but I think even they would agree that Kill Team is not a great introductory game to a curious person who wants to see what it is you're doing, because Kill Team has a lot of other things going on that would make a bit more sense to someone who is perhaps a bit more keyed in to the hobby or gaming space itself. For all of the things that Kill Team is, "introductory Warhammer" is certainly not one of them. Combat Patrol is actually probably a better choice, but, well, I think you mentioned the problem.

So, my suggestion is just to set up a board, give your dad an army, and play the game with exceptionally paired down rules like you might see if you went into a GW store and asked for a demo. The main thing here is that you want the 'feel' of Warhammer and a general sense of what is going on but not worrying about extremely granular rules. You don't even have to limit yourselves to just specific units, but I would perhaps try and set something up that could be a classic and easy to parse set of armies: two space marine chapters on a training mission, space marines fighting orcs, or space marines vs chaos marines. Essentially, I suggest picking two groups who primarily shoot each other and maybe get into a bit of close combat, and who are easy to understand that visually, which many of these armies do because they have fairly basic units who hold guns and sometimes swords.

I think limiting the game to simple things, like move, shoot, basic saves, along with a set of easy and simple objectives, could go a long way to giving him the experience of what it is you're doing without having to constantly consult a chart or cards. Because while he probably is curious about what you're up to, and might really enjoy being asked to participate in it with you, he may not actually be THAT interested in learning all of the rules to do so. Ironically, this is very similar to the issue that many people face when it comes to "my partner is interested in my hobby but we tried playing and they hated it," because your investment and theirs is very different. Give him a basic, "Board game"-esque example, and if he likes it, you two can talk about maybe slowly adding more rules another time and see what comes of it. Either way, you better take those pictures!

Home For the Holidays

Dear Miss Marcy,

I'll be having some family over for the holidays, both thanksgiving and christmas, and some of them will be staying for a few days before and after both of those holidays.

i've gotten to the age where i have the unfortunate job of hosting, and hosting involves entertaining your guests. my family generally knows i "like games", but i don't really know what to do with non-gamers.

do you have any tips, or should i just make everyone watch tv and stare at their phones?

Host with the leastest

Dear Host,

I think you're at least aware of a very common problem that many people who end up having non-hobbyists over run afoul of: the idea that because you are known to play games, you can entertain groups of people easily (and that they will want to play whatever games it is that you have). You don't really specify age groups or dynamics, so my advice is going to be a bit general, but is mostly applicable: I think trying to get your guests to play games without really knowing what they like or want to do is a bad idea.

Non-gamers or non-hobbyists in gaming spaces are often aware of the concept of games, they just don't play them, and that can lead to a lot of accidental friction from people who may be sore losers, who may not pay attention, or who simply may just not actually find playing games with other people entertaining. There are some ways to navigate this with simpler games, and this is where a deck of playing cards can often get you a lot more mileage than a gimmicky board game or something with a lot more moving parts can. I'm a big proponent of having a deck of cards, chess, checkers, dominos and/or mahjong available in your home for guests, and worry less about whether you can get them to play board games or more.

Alternatively, I will suggest one other option: Jackbox games can be pretty good for groups who are more savvy with technology and are somewhat a great way to get a big group of people to play a few games without a lot of mess and fuss; you can play them from consoles or pcs, and players participate via their phones, so these can be a fairly okay way to get some of your guests to sit together and play a game. They're often on sale or discount, too, which can make it easier to pick it up if you think it would work for your group.

At the end of the day, hosting and guests have a relationship balance they have to maintain, and while you may want to entertain, you should also expect that your guests may actually just want some time to themselves, and you deserve your own time and relaxation as well; don't force them to play games or interact more than they have to or want to, and I think you and they will have a lot better time overall.

Bah Humbug

dear Miss Marcy,

I have a reputation of being "impossible" to buy presents for. the problem is that i, not as a brag, make more money than my partner, family, and friend circle, and i often just buy myself things that i want because I have the income to do so.

the issue is that because i am the type to simply buy myself things that i want, people seem to get upset that they cannot surprise me with things or buy me a "big" thing i want, because i already have it.

however, i've always tried to stress that i don't care about what something costs or the "size" of the gift, but the thought. is there anything i can do? this is getting to be a reocurring problem and annoyance to me, and i'm about to tell people to stop gifting.

Gifting Grump

Dear Grump,

Your question is actually interesting, because there's an aspect to it that I am wondering if you've noticed or are aware of, which is that it is probably obvious to the other people around you that they cannot afford what you can, and thus they are viewing their gifts, and your reassurance that you don't care about small or personal gifts, as a way of perhaps trying to give them a hand-wave style dismissal. I am unsure of how you act or talk to others, and I will say that I don't feel you're the type to show off or make a big deal about the money you spend; your question just reads as trying to explain the honest situation. That being said, I wonder if your circle of loved ones here feel as though you would not appreciate their gifts for some reason, and thus want to "spend" to show you something; this can of course backfire, because if you are that keenly aware of the financial differences, you know how much that thing cost and that it may be a stress on them.

So, my solution is that I think you should make an actual gift list, and ask people to get things from that list for you. I have some familiarity with this issue from a different perspective, which is that my family has traditionally never "known" what to purchase for me (or cared to find out), I often resorted to making lists, which would solve the problem. Lists show some level of effort on your part, so people feel confident buying something from them because you wouldn't make a list of stuff you didn't want, and lists can also be a great way to collect things you want, are curious about, or even need to restock on that are available and easy; for myself, I often ask for coffees from various roasters I hear about, coffee tools and other things, and that's worked great.

I would urge you to maybe approach each of these people differently, though, especially your partner: they may be the most keenly aware of the financial gap, and you want to assure them that it really is not about the money, but about the thought. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of things to distract yourself with, so it may be that people, your partner especially, sees you interacting with things you buy yourself that make you very happy, while you may not have the same reaction from things they get you. The issue then is not that you are "impossible", as in difficult, but "impossible", as they can't compete with your own biggest fan: yourself.

Tags: mayday miss marcy