Mayday, Miss Marcy! App Apocalypse, Time Mismanagement, 6-7

Welcome back to Mayday, Miss Marcy! where we take your questions and provide you answers, sometimes even the ones you want! Our goal here is to provide you with the type of advice column of newspapers (remember those?) of yore, and this week we have a very... interesting selection of questions. If you missed last week's article, you can find it here, where we talked again about moving, jealousy, and learning how to say no to people who get pushy about rules and also being sour grapes. If you're curious to have your own questions addressed here in the article, you can find the instructions of how to do so below!

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This week, we have 3 new questions, as well as a question that I'm pretty sure is not a real question, but is actually a bit, but hey, you ask em, we answer them!

Is The Bit in the Room With Us?

Hi Miss Marcy,

I'm a mech designer and I'm suffering from a review website unfairly criticizing my work: condescendingly calling me "infantry guy" and applying grade penalties for things I feel were perfectly valid engineering decisions. I have recently discovered that these authors only fight in battles where infantry are banned. No wonder they don't appreciate the value of a flamer or emotional support machine gun array! How can I make them understand that not everyone has the luxury of fighting on carefully curated battlefields where infantry can't exploit their weaknesses and give my mechs better grades?

Persecuted on Poulsbo IV

Dear Persecuted,

I think that instead of making them understand, you should start your own website where you write about your mechs and your unique takes on the gaming landscape. Perhaps you could even open a Patreon to help you support that website and then attract an audience that will support your vision, rather than try to tear down the vision of another, or be unjustly attacked for your unique ways of viewing things compared to those around you who lack the correct eyes to see the truth with. Let me know how it goes!

Analogging Out

Dear Miss Marcy,

Lately my gaming group has taken to analog against digital for a lot of things, looking to reduce the amount of technology required for us to play games with and the amount of technology that is around us while we play them. I do support this and I appreciate the notion, but I also have to admit that playing 40k without modern apps is kind of a nightmare to put it lightly. The problem is the group kind of wants everyone to abide by the no technology concept, and I and another player have been holdouts about doing so for it. We've agreed to remove our phones and other things, but I really just do not want to have to carry huge amounts of rulebooks, paper, and other things around with me again like I am playing the game 20 years ago. I get that too much tech can be frustrating and annoying these days, but also this feels like a stupid hill to die on for it.

Pro-Tech Techpriest

Dear Pro-Tech,

Ah, the analog trend. My partner was just talking to me about the trend of "analog bags", in which people are spending extreme amounts of money on designer and flashy bags that then hold their "analog" versions of entertainment, and then showing off those bags full of stuff on social media. If that makes you scratch your head, well, yeah. Look, I get it. Analog, or "unplugging", is certainly a trend that comes and goes, and I do understand the value in appreciating the tactile and the real as opposed to staring at a phone or tablet screen (or even a computer screen) for hours and hours. I do sort of understand what your group wants to do, which is turn game night into a time where you focus on the game and then don't get distracted by anything, but I have to admit that I can't possibly see playing a game like 40k to be any fun doing it this way unless you are specifically trying to make the game as "unplugged" as possible. That doesn't mean you can't do it, just that it feels like many of the apps and tools player use are helping make the game streamlined, rather than forcing apps into things that don't need them. I'm not about to tell you to make up an accessibility requirement, because that sucks, but I would just say "I'm sorry, I really do not want to play the game without using apps to make things easier and more manageable. I will keep using it." And just leave it at that. Assuming your friends are, well, your friends, I think they should (hopefully) be understanding enough that you are respecting their goal while also trying to respect your own time and enjoyment.

We're Out of Time, and We're All Out of Time!

Miss Marcy,

I am absolutely abysmal at time management. I just have no idea how to 'manage' my time, because even when I make plans or think of how to do so, something always seems to impede or interfere with it. If I set aside time for myself to do something, somehow life always finds a way to force itself on me: random forgotten chores, food prep that takes longer than expected, people asking or needing things of me, and by the time I am finally free, my day is mostly over and the time I set aside short and fairly restricted, and myself tired. Am I just doing something wrong in setting goals here, or is there something else I could be doing so that I can actually enjoy my hobbies?

Time Traveled

Dear Time,

I think what you are actually asking has nothing to do with time, but everything to do with boundaries. It sounds like you are actually setting goals and trying to adhere to them in order to pursue your hobby interests, but the people around you in your life are not respecting YOUR time in order to allow you to do those things. You don't really specify who or what those people or things are, but I get the sense that you are likely the person who "runs" your household, and are likely expected to do so without complaining or setting up any sort of boundary for things. You really need to tell people "no", and you need to also prepare for the fact that telling them "no" may not actually be respected. There is literally no way to make more time for yourself; a day is only so long. The other problem I sense is that if your family/friends/work are aware of you taking time for yourself, taking more time for yourself is going to just be viewed as "they are being lazy or free even more now". I think you really just need to be firmer with those things, and I get that it is pretty hard to set them, especially if the expectation has been set that you will always do what needs to be done; start standing up for yourself more and you'll find that your time is a lot more productive.

How Many Times? Six, or Seven, You Say?

Hello Miss Marcy,

I have a son who I've been lucky enough to recruit into playing Warhammer with; he enjoys playing the game and spending time, and we've even found a few other younger players at our LGS that he can play with instead of just playing with Dad all the time. However, lately he and his friends just get into giggling fits over "67" jokes. I have to admit that this is the first time I've gotten annoyed at the way he behaves and the other kids also, because I don't get it. It has made me want to stop going or asking him to stop, but I also don't want to come across as lame, or worse, a bad father because of my annoyance at his having fun. Any advice? Is there something I'm not getting?

Rapidly Uncool Dad

Dear Rapidly,

Put simply: "6-7" is a joke that is funny because it makes other people realize they are "out" of a group. Those "in" the group react to the phrase and laugh and smile, and then they laugh at the people who don't. There really isn't anything more deep to it, and frankly the way that a lot of older people crash out over "6-7" is hilarious; as someone who grew up in the era in which repeating "Why?" was the epitome of Kid Comedy, "6-7" really shouldn't be that controversial or complicated.

But to your actual question, let's approach this in two ways: One, your son is making friends and having fun, and you feel excluded because you don't get the joke and feel left out, or, realistically, you feel "old". That's fine, but you have to recognize that the problem person in this respect is you, not your son and his friends. Asking him or them to stop in this situation would indeed make you uncool, because you're getting mad at kids being kids, and making kid jokes that they like. You also just have to kind of tank the passage of time and mortality and ready yourself for the period in which your son will start thinking you may actually be uncool or suck, and you really don't want to start that now.

Now, as for the other, you don't have to confront mortality quite so much, because I am curious: is your son's behavior disruptive to other players? If it is, then you may want to talk to him about his behavior, and reinforce that you are glad he's having fun and making friends, but use it as a moment to teach him about how to behave in public and around other people. It may just really be that these are kids being kids but also getting a bit too excited about it, and in that instance, I think saying something (responsibly) is going to work out really well for you here. Just try to avoid making him stop doing it or being a lame-o.

Tags: mayday miss marcy