What Is All This

GW announced the first Warhammer Open of the year to be in sunny Palm Springs, California, something like 40 days before the actual event. This extremely short notice announcement meant that loads of the usual suspects wouldn't be attending - getting time off work, away from families, or otherwise finding a means of squeezing out a weekend of Hamming War with your pals in California would prove to be a challenge for many. Still, with it being West Coast Close to my abode in central Oregon, I plotted a course, researched where I'd be able to eat with all my sundry allergies, and, well, that was pretty much it for planning on this one. Anxious thoughts continued to creep up - traveling in winter is often a bit of a nightmare in my experience, I wouldn't know a ton of people going and it could be a lonely event, and health issues back home had me worried too. There was little I could do about that last bit, but I've done literally dozens of events like this over the years and it shouldn't be too bad. Worst case scenario, I'd get to play a lot of Warhammer, check out a new town, and loaf around a plush hotel in California.

Event Prep

SRM's Black Templars at the Palm Springs Open. Credit: SRM

I'd be taking my Templars to this event, as they're the army I actually have reasonably well set up for tournament play. After all, they've been my tournament army since I started regularly playing competitive 40k back in 9th edition. Naturally, it had been a month since I'd played 40k, two months since playing my Templars, and I hadn't played a single test game before the event. Buoyed with excitement for the Bastion Task Force after writing an article and making" frameborder="0"> a video about it, I built a list, made sure it fit in my case, and got packing.

Three Land Raiders, Zero Brain Cells - Click to Expand

Three Land Raiders, Zero Brain Cells (2000 Points)

Space Marines

Black Templars

Bastion Task Force

Strike Force (2,000 Points)

CHARACTERS

Captain (100 Points)

• Warlord

• 1x Heavy bolt pistol

• 1x Master-crafted power weapon

• 1x Relic Shield

• Enhancements: Hero of the Chapter

Emperor’s Champion (100 Points)

• 1x Black Sword

• 1x Bolt Pistol

Marshal (95 Points)

• 1x Master-crafted power weapon

• 1x Plasma pistol

• Enhancements: Blades of Valour

Marshal (90 Points)

• 1x Combi-weapon

• 1x Master-crafted power weapon

• Enhancements: Eye of the Primarch

BATTLELINE

Assault Intercessor Squad (75 Points)

• 1x Assault Intercessor Sergeant

◦ 1x Plasma pistol

◦ 1x Thunder hammer

• 4x Assault Intercessor

◦ 4x Astartes chainsword

◦ 4x Heavy bolt pistol

Crusader Squad (150 Points)

• 1x Sword Brother

◦ 1x Master-crafted power weapon

◦ 1x Pyre pistol

• 5x Initiate

◦ 3x Astartes chainsword

◦ 5x Bolt pistol

◦ 5x Close combat weapon

◦ 5x Heavy bolt pistol

◦ 2x Power fist

• 4x Neophyte

◦ 4x Astartes chainsword

◦ 4x Bolt pistol

Crusader Squad (150 Points)

• 1x Sword Brother

◦ 1x Master-crafted power weapon

◦ 1x Pyre pistol

• 5x Initiate

◦ 3x Astartes chainsword

◦ 5x Bolt pistol

◦ 5x Close combat weapon

◦ 5x Heavy bolt pistol

◦ 2x Power fist

• 4x Neophyte

◦ 4x Astartes chainsword

◦ 4x Bolt pistol

Intercessor Squad (80 Points)

• 1x Intercessor Sergeant

◦ 1x Bolt pistol

◦ 1x Bolt rifle

◦ 1x Power fist

• 4x Intercessor

◦ 4x Bolt pistol

◦ 4x Bolt rifle

◦ 4x Close combat weapon

DEDICATED TRANSPORTS

Impulsor (85 Points)

• 1x Armoured hull

• 1x Multi-melta

• 1x Shield Dome

• 2x Storm bolter

OTHER DATASHEETS

Invader ATV (60 Points)

• 1x Bolt pistol

• 1x Close combat weapon

• 1x Multi-melta

• 1x Twin bolt rifle

Land Raider (220 Points)

• 1x Armoured tracks

• 2x Godhammer lascannon

• 1x Hunter-killer missile

• 1x Multi-melta

• 1x Storm bolter

• 1x Twin heavy bolter

Land Raider (220 Points)

• 1x Armoured tracks

• 2x Godhammer lascannon

• 1x Hunter-killer missile

• 1x Multi-melta

• 1x Storm bolter

• 1x Twin heavy bolter

Land Raider Redeemer (270 Points)

• 1x Armoured tracks

• 2x Flamestorm cannon

• 1x Hunter-killer missile

• 1x Multi-melta

• 1x Storm bolter

• 1x Twin assault cannon

Scout Squad (70 Points)

• 1x Scout Sergeant

◦ 1x Bolt pistol

◦ 1x Boltgun

◦ 1x Close combat weapon

• 4x Scout

◦ 4x Bolt pistol

◦ 2x Boltgun

◦ 4x Close combat weapon

◦ 1x Heavy bolter

◦ 1x Scout sniper rifle

Sword Brethren Squad (235 Points)

• 9x Sword Brother

◦ 5x Heavy bolt pistol

◦ 7x Master-crafted power weapon

◦ 1x Plasma pistol

◦ 2x Pyre pistol

◦ 1x Thunder hammer

◦ 1x Twin lightning claws

Exported with App Version: v1.46.2 (1), Data Version: v732

Day 0 - Mostly Talking about Marvel Movies and Dead Lo-Fi Musicians So You Can Skip This if You Don't Appreciate Culture

While direct flights from my local podunk airport to Palm Springs' less podunk (yet podunky all the same) airport are unfortunately a thing of the past, it's still a short jaunt to get there. I got a ride to the airport with my buddy Kenny, sped through security, found a quiet corner of the airport, and dozed off with my headphones in for the afternoon til my flight arrived. After previously kvetching about the soulless and samey sounds of most lo-fi music (of the 24/7 varietal to chill out/study/sleep to) I went to one of its principal sources, the more inspired wellspring that gave birth to thousands of hours of lonelier imitators. I won't claim too much cred here; my introduction to -k">Nujabes was Samurai Champloo, but I found the two albums he made during his life hugely enjoyable and a constant companion when I was just chilling out this trip. Most of this first flight was spent looking out the window; softness washing over me as I looked out the window at Portland in the late-day sun. Its surrounding forests were gilded with light, thinning then giving way to the farms, suburban homes, and eventual taller structures of the metro area. Much as I was looking forward to this trip to a desert resort, I can't look down at the dense woods and pockets of fog of the Pacific Northwest without getting a lump in my throat.

Time was short for this connection in Portland airport, so I grabbed a couple Gluten Free Gem pastries at Portland Coffee Roasters before getting onto my plane to Palm Springs. I spent that second flight watching Fantastic Four: First Steps and it's the first Marvel movie in a hot minute to actually make me feel anything. The special effects oscillate from convincing to almost shockingly hokey, but when the actors are just getting to act in these beautiful sets that are equal parts 1964 World's Fair, Jonny Quest, and Tex Avery's House of Tomorrow, it's a joy to watch. I appreciated the optimism of its characters and how it reflects in their gonzo midcentury raygun gothic world, and a superhero movie that isn't two hours of broody navel gazing or endless quipping is novel in this day and age. The film's gleaming optimism and unapologetic comic bookishness seem naïve in 2026, but a little hope can go a long way.

I got in that evening, checked into the Renaissance around 8pm, and met up with my buddy Max for dinner. At the Tacoma Open last year, we wanted to get tacos together but the timing never really worked out, so we rectified that at El Patron, all of a fifteen minute walk from the hotel. I had the barbacoa tacos and a Pacifico, a beer that isn't much on its own, but is crisp and clean enough to cut through the fatty, savory flavor of a good meaty taco. The rice and beans on the plate were the garden variety you'll find on any Fiestaware plate at a family-style Mexican restaurant, but the tacos were genuinely solid. While I got lightly allergen'd at said restaurant, I felt okay enough to go to Ben & Jerry's for a cup of Butter Pecan while we kept hanging out. It was good catching up; we've been ships passing in the night a few too many times at events, and as a relatively recent dad, his time can be hard to come by. On our walk about, we found a six foot tall metal sculpture of Bumblebee from Transformers - specifically the Michael Bay films - standing outside of a rock shop. Somehow, this is not the only scrap metal Bumblebee I've seen in or around a store specializing in the sale of crystals and vaguely mystical knickknackery. We turned in before too late (nothing in this town is open past 10, and few even past 9) and I got my stuff unpacked for the next day. Satisfied that there were no breaks in transit, I called it a night.

Day 1 - Enacting the Plan, What There Is of It

The view from the hotel in Palm Springs. Credit: SRM

Up before my alarm, I was feeling refreshed and ready for the first day of the tournament. I met Rob and his friend David for breakfast in the hotel restaurant and we went over some of our hopes and plans for the tournament. This is the kind of place where when I told the server I have a wheat allergy they gave me whole wheat toast, so I had to be careful to not get poisoned before my first game even started. Instead I just had two fairly bland sunny side up eggs and a few links of sausage, washed down with the same coffee you've had at any hotel in the United States. The food wasn't great, but the hang was why I was here, and I already knew I liked hanging out with David. He'd be part of our inner circle for the rest of the event.

Game 1 vs Mateo's World Eaters (Berserker Warband)

Palm Springs Open, game 1. Credit: SRM

After registration it was on to our first round, and one that would prove to be a pretty good matchup for me. Mateo was excitedly showing me his army and running through all the things it could do, and very clearly was pretty new to this, at least at an organized level. Once I had a handle on what his World Eaters could do, I was able to play around them pretty effectively, controlling my engagements and focusing down any threats to my metal boxes. Once I'd lascannoned his Forgefiend away and gunned down some Exalted Eightbound, there wasn't altogether too much that could crack my tanks open. Even when his Land Raider got into rapid fire range, I'd just pop smoke and functionally shut it down. He'd commit Berserker squads into my vehicles, and I'd just wait for his Blessings of Khorne to come up short and save me from getting hit by Fight on Death. At that point, I piled my dudes out of their transports, fell back with said transports, then Auspex Scanned those enemy units in shooting. That opened my vehicles up to shoot into them with the Heresy Undone Stratagem, or otherwise use all my tools against his piecemeal forces. With his chaff units dead early and his main push arriving one bit at a time, I was able to run away with this game pretty hard.

Result: 96-49 Victory

With a bit of extra time for lunch, Rob, David and I headed for Sherman's Deli. It was a toasty but initially manageable 80 degrees out with nary a cloud in the sky, and that sun started to get oppressive around the ten minute mark. Naturally, Sherman's was overflowing with patrons, so we went instead to Koffi, a coffee shop with some fairly limited lunch options. After entering through the wrong side of the establishment (I certainly wouldn't do this a minimum of two more times at other businesses in the area) I grabbed some overnight oats, a banana, and a lemonade. Breakfast for dinner is great and all, but breakfast for lunch is underrated. None of these were outstanding necessarily, but after being lightly toasted in the afternoon sun for a mile round trip, a cold lunch and a tall cold lemonade made for a refreshing treat.

Game 2 vs Steve's Space Marines (Gladius Task Force)

Palm Springs Open, game 2. Credit: SRM

One of the boogeymen of the last few months is the most ultra of Ultramarines forces, one containing an embarrassment of Epic Heroes and Victrix Guard beside. While some wisdom has pointed to the optimal balance being 2x6 Victrix Guard and a unit of Company Heroes, Steve clearly hadn't gotten the memo, as he had a full 18 Victrix Guard, plus Calgar, Sicarius, and Uriel Ventris. Naturally, this was backed up by a pair of Repulsor Executioners, plus an Invader ATV, Scouts, and Assault Intercessors for scoring chicanery. I knew this would be tricky - the sheer number of reactive/Blood Surge moves available to him meant that even getting into combat would be difficult, and once I got there I'd have to deal with more expensive stratagems (courtesy of Uriel Ventris) and the threats of Heroic Interventions and Fight on Death abilities. Meanwhile, he has to deal with Overwatch from my Redeemer, plus the wild threat range of a whole army of angry Templars with chainswords and the ability to Advance and Charge. We start with a brief sojourn to Mario Kart battle mode as our Invader ATVs clashed in the middle. Despite his green shell/Grenades stratagem and a tender smooch between the tires of our ATVs, he was unable to kill mine and thus failed to score Area Denial on turn 1. He'd put Sicarius with a squad of Victrix forward as bait, and I don't know if you know this, but bait is delicious. The Emperor's Champion and his Assault Intercessors burst out of their Impulsor and into this unit, Precisioning out Sicarius and dropping a few Victrix, but mostly getting mulched on the backswing. More importantly, this meant an annoying and dangerous unit was hanging out in the midst of Steve's lines, and he'd have to deal with it. Calgar's squad was also hanging behind a wall, but on the wall instead of an inch back. I'd ask about this later, and the point was to make them a juicy target, but one I couldn't fully engage with. On turn 3 I attempted to take them out with my Sword Brethren brick, and his plan definitely worked - I killed quite a few Victrix in that charge, but Calgar remained safe and was able to clear half my dudes on his own. Right next to them my Crusaders got into his Repex and totaled it, while he threw a wrench in my plans with Uriel Rapid Ingressing just behind the other squad I was trying to engage. My second Crusader squad was able to get into and take out the remaining Victrix that were escorting Sicarius earlier, but had to deal with Uriel Ventris all but shutting down their Stratagems with the Lord of Deceit aura. On Steve's turn, he was able to clear off a lot of my dudes, but he was pretty hemmed in, and a relative dead draw on Secondary objectives put him on the back foot. Ultimately, he was able to break out of my cordon of chainswords, but I barely snuck away with the win.

Result: 75-70 Victory

After what was an excellent, enjoyable, and very thinky game of Warhammer, I was feeling pretty confident. Beating an army that tricksy with something as meat-and-potatoes as my list was buoying, and it helped that Steve was a genuine delight to hang out and play with. Right next to us, his friend Celeste was running a Templars list with 60 Crusaders, and she'd go on to tear shit up and get 9th place overall with that list. I've gotta say, I was envious of the sheer bowling ball energy of her army.

Game 3 vs Hans's Death Guard (Champions of Contagion)

This mission was Terraform, a mission I don't like. Hans was playing Death Guard, a faction I struggle into. I had first turn as well, which is seldom a good time into a fellow melee army. This proof that three wrongs don't make a right manifested in what was a rough game for me. First turn I hopped on all three No Man's Land objectives and started Terraforming, figuring that would give me an early leg up, but he immediately disabused me of that notion by killing those units with his Bloat Drones. Also, as is tradition, every time a Myphitic Blighthauler shoots one of my Land Raiders, it does a minimum of 10 damage. He nearly aced one of my Raiders immediately, but I survived the round. On turn 2 I rolled up to his Rhino full of Plague Marines, characters, and so many special rules it would make your eyes water. My Redeemer popped the Rhino and my Sword Brethren charged into the freshly Battle-Shocked itinerants who had just been dumped out, and even popping Finest Hour, I was only able to kill the Marines, leaving the characters alive. Crucially, this meant on his turn he could dump all his Deathshroud Terminators within 6" of me and still charge, meaning that my main melee threat was going to be cut to ribbons as far from his objective as I could physically get. Fortunately, this opened up a new strategy - ">Super runaway! By completely shifting my army to the other side of the board I was able to escape the worst of these chunky stinkers, but my shooting continued to let me down. It took three solid turns of shooting for a single Land Raider to pop one of his Bloat Drones, and any time Hans did engage with my units, it was a headache of overlapping rules for Stratagems, Contagions, and just the basic rules of the game. At one point he got his Deathshrouds in with my Land Raider and I was going to shoot - he tells me I have -1 to hit. I ask Why? Which special rule or Stratagem is causing this problem? At which point he reminds that it's a basic rule of the game. Hans was a gracious opponent and very understanding of the various points in this game while the pull cord on my brain clearly wasn't starting. I also followed Rob's advice that Deathshroud were crummy into vehicles, so tried to slow them down with a Land Raider, and that very much did not work. This was a tough matchup for me and I clearly was running out of brainpower, resulting in my first loss of the event.

Result: 60-74 Defeat

One of the responsibilities of being The Guy With All the Allergens is that I have to be my own advocate for finding food, making me de facto party leader when it's time to get dinner. I led Ryan, his wife Bridget, Max, and his friend Zack to Sammy G's Tuscan Bistro. I can only assume he's related to Kenny G. Like the smooth sax of your aunt's favorite easy listening brass maestro, the Capone cocktail I ordered went down easy. It was basically just a drier Manhattan, and set the stage for a hearty plate of Penne Vodka Rose. This joint has separate appliances for their gluten-free offerings and their server was able to give me the rundown on a few things I could or couldn't have based on my allergies, and I was able to enjoy a genuinely good meal without any problems. I don't associate the West Coast with good Italian food, but I was pleasantly surprised here. The hang at dinner was solid, even with this crew of folks who I don't usually get to gather together. Zack went over his ludicrous T'au T'idewall T'ankshock list for the Narrative, Ryan and Bridget told me about cool stuff to do in Japan, and I just vibed out in good company. We hit up the Ben & Jerry's afterwards, and even if took me until proper adulthood to enjoy it, a cup of basic strawberry and vanilla ice cream without any bells or whistles is a great end to a warm night.

Day 2 - The First Actually Good Pizza in California

I took this morning slow, as I had a good hour and a half before any dice were gonna get rolled. I grabbed a coffee from the bar downstairs and took in the morning from the hotel courtyard. Families were starting the day in the pool, other tournament players were carting their armies around, and the relative calm of the morning was going to be a smooth onramp into the day. I sipped my coffee and ate the muffin from Gluten Free Gem I'd grabbed in PDX while I heard a mom tell her kid that no, he can't have candy right after breakfast. This might be one of the few times in all my years of traveling for tournaments that I actually felt well and truly relaxed.

Game 4 vs Maisson's World Eaters (Berserker Warband)

Palm Springs Open, game 4. Credit: SRM

I felt confident about this matchup, as I'd just had a very successful game against World Eaters the day before. The list was different this time - a pair of Forgefiends, a Lord Invocatus and several Spawn for midfield play, and nothing but Eightbound behind them. Still, I devised the same strategy - blast their shooting threats, stay in my transports, and jump out once his Blessings of Khorne didn't give him the Fight on Death result. The first turn set me up for success - he'd rushed out with his midfield pieces to nab some objectives, and I was able to clear them all out, my assets positioned well for the next turn. He was visibly straining here, as that was a bit spicier than he was expecting my first turn shooting to be. He played conservatively, staging his Eightbound behind ruins, and I was now teed up for what should have been a monstrous turn 2. At this point you may as well call me Wellington, because I absolutely beefed it. I rolled my Redeemer up and was in the process of getting my Sword Brethren out when I decided that no, I could actually afford to wait in my transport another turn. After all, he had the Fight on Death ability active, and his Forgefiends were outside my charge range. Turns out he hadn't accounted for my wild movement and was actually in a pretty bad spot, but you wouldn't have known that based on how I let that opportunity slip by. His Exalted Eightbound trashed my Land Raiders in a way I was not wholly expecting, and his Forgefiends aimed at my Redeemer. Stupidly, I decided to save a Command Point for Overwatch - something I would only have had the opportunity to do in his prior movement phase - and neglected to pop Smokescreen on them. Naturally this meant the end for my Redeemer, and his regular Eightbound ran through its Sword Brethren cargo without any problems at all. When I finally got a Crusader squad into one of his Eightbound units and wiped them out, naturally 5/6 of those Eightbound fought back and fully returned the favor. As bad as that outcome was, it would have been better to throw my Sword Brethren into his Eightbound the turn before. Even if they Fought on Death against me, mutually assured destruction is at least mutual. Maisson played a good game, I played a hugely boneheaded one, and as he walked away afterwards, he looked back at me, snapped his fingers and pointed, offering some meaningful advice: "Get out of your transports!"

Result: 39-79 Defeat

After one of the worst self-inflicted drubbings in my entire Warhammer career, I grabbed lunch with Rob and David at the little food stand/bar area of the gaming hall. I had the vegan salad bowl, which was just some pretty bland chickpeas, greens, and cucumbers, with some pickled red onions that actually served as a pleasant surprise. The pomegranate dressing brought the whole thing up to be pretty tasty. Rob's sad bowl of rice and boiled chicken looked far less appetizing. Then I looked at my phone, saw my opponent's list, and uttered several variations of "Oh god, oh no, I'm so fucked."

Game 5 vs Oscar's Chaos Knights (Infernal Lance)

Palm Springs Open, game 5. Credit: SRM

Chaos Knights are a boogeyman for many - it's a stat check army that one may or may not have the tools to properly deal with, and they've got a load of high powered weaponry that can wreck you if you're not careful. This list had three dual-gatling Despoilers, which is the rock to my Crusaders' scissors, and I knew if my dudes didn't get out of their transports in the right places at the exact right times, they were good as dead. I moved up the table early, knowing that my Redeemer can easily melt several wounds off a Knight in Overwatch, and I'd be able to launch an all-out charge the following turn. Also, after four full games of nearly complete and utter bupkis, my Godhammer Land Raiders finally popped off, cutting through his Knights and bringing one of his Despoilers down to just 10 wounds. On his turn he unloaded everything into my army, killing my Impulsor, but merely scratching my Land Raiders. Even when a Karnivore gets a charge off into one of my tanks, it whiffs its attacks and gets a toe run over for their trouble. Round 2 I committed hard to the table, with the Emperor's Champion nearly cutting down the Despoiler, Crusaders taking down a Karnivore and sitting near the center objective, and my Sword Brethren taking down the Stalker. On his turn he lit up my Crusaders near the middle, I popped a -1 to Wound Stratagem, and after losing just a few models, they Blood Surged onto the central objective, blocking his Area Denial and also getting into combat with his remaining Karnivore. His rear Despoiler shot the Sword Brethren then Tank Shocked them, not quite killing the last regular Marine in the squad, at which point my remaining Captain and Sword Bro took half the Despoiler's wounds off it. I cleaned up the rest of his army pretty shortly thereafter, and while I fully admit this game had some hard luck swings towards me and away from him, it felt good to get a win after flubbing my previous game. He stayed in good spirits even with how bad he was getting diced, and was a genuine pleasure to hang out with. We talked Middlehammer stuff and the LA gaming scene for a while after the game, and we'd keep running into each other over the next few days.

Result: 89-25 Win

Game 6 vs Chris' Astra Militarum (Grizzled Company)

Palm Springs Open, game 6. Credit: SRM

Chris was running a list at once familiar and unfamiliar to me. Aside from just being a new Detachment, he had a wall of armor that would be a challenge to chew through. However, instead of Demolishers or standard Leman Russes, he'd taken a trio of Vanquishers - a tank that, in over 20 years playing this game, I've never seen actually do anything. I ate that anecdote as they'd routinely knock half the wounds off my Land Raiders each time they fired. Adding to the unfamiliarity of his list was the Charge of the Light Brigade contingent - several units of Rough and Death Riders that I would have to chase down. A skirmish broke out over the top of the board, where one Death Rider squad battled my Scouts and ATV for an objective before Intercessors settled the argument with a hail of bolter fire. The other No Man's Land objective had my Sword Brethren doing a delicate dance around one of his Dorn Commanders, Kasrkin, and Death Riders. I had to balance my shooting and moving to avoid Overwatch from the big tank, Auspex Scan targets for maximum damage in the Fight phase, and also work around the Death Riders and their reactive movement. The Sword Brethren ended up moving away and towards Chris' home objective, taking down Leman Russes, while my Redeemer and his Dorn Commander fought over the objective, mostly in melee. Their turns-long tussle was brought to an end on turn 4 when a Vanquisher killed my Raider. I'd meanwhile flooded his home objective with Crusaders and the Emperor's Champion, who had whittled his other Dorn Commander down. By the bottom of turn 3 his home was largely cleared out and overrun by idiots with chainsaws, but he was able to kill an awful lot of my dudes in the shooting phases between. My Intercessors played goalie against Gaunt's Ghosts in my backfield, and on turn 5 he blanched as he forgot to bring on his Rough Riders. It was too late for reserves at that point, but I don't know how much of a difference they would have made. By game's end I mostly just had characters hiding around his side of the table and a firm hold on my own, and my turns of pressure had kept him away from objectives.

Result: 92-59 Win

My Templars had been selected for the paint showcase, and I walked my beat up little display board over to my name card and arranged them just so. There were some lovely armies and displays there, though I didn't spot the eventual winner, a Death Guard army that probably got set up after I left. Maybe my attention was just swayed by the Age of Sigmar and Kill Team entries, which were miles ahead of the 40k entries for the most part. I mean no shade to anyone here playing 40k - after all, I'm part of that demographic - but the hobby scene for Age of Sigmar is consistently higher than its far future sibling, and one can easily lavish more attention on a tiny warband for Kill Team or Underworlds instead of an entire army.

Rob, David and I headed to Bill's Pizza for dinner, a local institution that reportedly had an excellent gluten-free crust. We walked in and were told we had seven minutes to order before the kitchen closed, so we snagged some beers and made some decisions. I had the Nicolas Cage, and while I haven't the faintest what its relation is to its namesake, it sounded like a good choice. Sausage, onions, jalapenos, pepperoni, red sauce and mozzarella makes for a reasonably loaded pie, and it was genuinely one of the better pizzas I've had since all my dietary stuff bubbled up a few years back. Their gluten-free crust just tastes the way I remember standard thin crusts tasting back when I could still have wheat, and it held together well, even under the strain of all those toppings. The sauce and cheese could still sing underneath, and it paired wonderfully with the Calidad Mexican Lager they had on tap. Like the Pacifico a few days before, this cut through the fat and grease of the pizza and wasn't too heavy. Rob told some good stories I'd heard him tell at a different, inferior pizza place in Tacoma, and we all shared some tale or another about the creepy critters we've dealt with living in Texas and Oregon. David waking up by being repeatedly stung in the sternum by a scorpion is an experience I hope to never share, but it made for a good story. It was a fun, chill way to wind down the evening.

Back at the hotel, I felt two barrels of stress blast into my chest. The first was that I'd won two games today, and I was now in the running to win my bracket. The second was that my army wasn't on the bed where I normally put it - I'd left my army in the convention hall when I went to dinner, and the hall was locked up now. I pushed those thoughts aside and hit the hay, knowing there was nothing I could do about them in the moment.

Day 3 - The Middlest of Men

I met Rob and David for breakfast, going over our day's expectations. Rob was in the 4-0 bracket, so the pressure was on for him to take it all. I was in the 2-2 bracket, the middlest of men, competing in a bracket I had won before. David was shoring up the rear in the 1-3 bracket, his Tzeentch list not quite cutting it into a number of matchups. I had a bowl of oatmeal and fruit, and while it wasn't anything special, it felt like a hearty and healthy way to start the last day of gaming.

Game 7 vs Steve's Space Marines (Gladius Task Force)

Palm Springs Open, game 7. Credit: SRM

To our mutual surprise, Steve and I had been paired for a rematch! We'd both been doing alright in this bracket, and it was time to see if my brute force playstyle could tango with the trickiness of 18 Victrix Guard again. At first it seemed like it just might - my Raiders immediately blew up one of his Repulsor Executioners, deflating Steve before his first movement phase. I quickly moved up the table, hemming him in and taking ground, even if it involved throwing away a Scout squad for no gain in the process. On turn 2 he nearly killed my Redeemer, Oathing it and taking it down to just 4 wounds. Turn 3 was poised to be the turn the rubber/chainsaw hit the road/ceramite, and my Redeemer was woefully out of position to actually join the fight. I knew that moving it would be certain death, as it was right in the line of sight of his remaining Repulsor Executioner, and if my tank died, my dudes would be stranded and unable to charge. Instead I rushed them out and trusted in the heart of the dice, which rewarded me with a 12" charge right into Cato Sicarius' Victrix Guard squad. Backing them up was a Crusader squad which made their charge into Calgar's Victrix. Unfortunately my final Crusader squad whiffed their charge into Uriel Ventris, with his aura shutting down any attempt at a Command Re-roll. With only one Command Point, Steve couldn't interrupt or Fight on Death, but he could pop Armour of Contempt on Calgar's unit and effectively shut down my Crusaders. His clapback - and the ensuing Tactical Doctrine turn of falling back and cycle charging my dudes - effectively cleared out my army, and while there was still some shooting and skirmishing to go, the main thrust of my force was depleted. Still, I couldn't feel too bad about the final score, and I'd already beaten this very tricky army once. Most importantly, playing with Steve a second time was a genuine joy, and I hope I run into him at more events in the future.

Result: 70-91 Defeat

The pressure was now off - I couldn't win best in bracket anymore, and the worst I could do was 2-2 in the 2-2 bracket, ending completely neutral. With that in mind, I had the same salad from the previous day and Rob bought me a beer. Poolside Blonde from La Quinta Brewing isn't the most exciting beer in the world, but for, well, a blonde ale meant to be drank by the pool, it absolutely does the job.

Game 8 vs Jeremy's Necrons (Pantheon of Woe)

Palm Springs Open, game 8. Credit: SRM

Woe is me, I didn't love this matchup. My army depends on loads of Damage 2 weapons, all of which would be generally wounding on 5s here and only doing 1 Damage due to the bevvy of Damage Reduction in Jeremy's army. His list, with all the C'tan one could reasonably fit in an army, would also be able to hop around the board and eat my infantry alive. This admittedly tough matchup was exacerbated by my fogged-over brain. It might have been the session-strength pounder I'd just quaffed or the collective exertion of 20ish hours of 40k over the course of a weekend, but I was asleep at the wheel the first two turns of this game. I was taking obvious bait, moving without a plan, splitting fire into units that would just heal the damage I did, and not really playing effectively. I apologized for not giving him a better experience, then snapped to it on turn 3 and started actually playing again. At that point I was able to catch the Transcendent C'tan between its teleporting chicanery. It turns out that enough chainsword strikes will kill damn near anything, and my Crusaders recaptured my home from his beautiful conversion of this particular pain in the butt unit. Of course it fought on death and killed the whole squad, because of course it did. The Deceiver took a similar amount of effort to remove, but it too eventually went down after enough concentrated fire went its way. I yeeted my Sword Brethren again across the board, hitting the requisite Necron Wraith brick with enough attacks to put it functionally out of the game, at least until my Crusaders could make their own long-bomb charge and clear the regenerating remainder off Jeremy's home objective. All the while, the Void Dragon drifted across the middle of the board, menacing my vehicles but largely just floating there menacingly. The multitude of Battle-shock tests given out by Jeremy's C'tan and pair of Psychomancers genuinely threw off my plans and cost me several objectives over several turns, and while I found his army to often be extremely frustrating to engage with, Jeremy might have been my favorite opponent of the entire event. He was understanding of my logy early game state, and was more than up to the moment when I actually started playing well on turn 3. We hung out for a good hour and a half after the game, talking about our journeys through Warhammer, our careers, and our communities. He was a great dude to share beers with, and I hope that next time we meet, it looks more like the second half of our game than the first.

Result: 57-79 Defeat

Awards came and went, with nobody in my circle walking away with any hardware. Tasked again with finding dinner, I surrendered to my own exhaustion and said screw it, let's just try the hotel bar. Rob, David and I headed down there and sat down while a genuinely exciting football game was going on. I'll be the first to tell you that sports firmly aren't my thing, but when a whole room erupts in cheers and strangers are high-fiving each other in elation over what's happening on the field, the energy is infectious. We split hummus plate and pork belly appetizers, neither of which set my world on fire but both of which were pretty solid. I had a New York Strip steak and some very obviously instant mashed potatoes, and while I've certainly had better steaks in my life, it was cooked and seasoned well. They also had Angry Orchard on tap, so I'd proceed to have several Big Boy Appa Juices throughout the evening. It's definitely sweeter and flatter than I like my ciders, but beggars can't be choosers when you're not in apple country. The three of us talked about our games, the event, and curiously, an awful lot about the Batman Arkham games. Eventually when you do enough funny voices and stupid accents, you wind up back at the voice for Two-Face Henchman #3. Eventually we headed to a firepit outside and were joined by Max and Zack, but I'll be real, I was three or four ciders deep and my memory gets foggy at this point. At some point we said our goodbyes and went our own ways.

Day 4 - Drifting Home

I woke up mere minutes before my 5am alarm, equal parts irritated, sleepy, and irritated that I wasn't still sleeping. I dragged myself downstairs to meet Zack so we could get a Lyft to the airport, and while we talked a bit, my voice was hoarse from three days of yelling over tables of toy soldiers. The airport was packed on account of the sheer number of events going on that weekend, and I had to tuck my checked bag next to a pile of golf clubs and lacrosse sticks, as the checked bag carousel was broken. After the long shuffle through security, I crossed the open-air concourse where the day's first light was just becoming apparent. Birds were fluttering about the open space, with a few flying inside and joining travelers at the gate. Zack was on the same flight as I was, but was a few boarding groups back, so I wished him safe travels, got on board, and fell right the hell asleep. I don't know if it's a hot take at all, but I like Nujabes' first album, Metaphorical Music, more than Modal Soul. It's a little jazzier and the raps are more consistent. I don't have a music column or enough thoughts about most albums to make one, but there you go.

Once in Portland, I just zoned out on my phone for like an hour with an iced coffee from Good Coffee and a slice of banana bread from Gluten Free Gem. It had been occupying a spot in my bag for a few days at that point, but it kept well and had more of a spicy, nutty flavor to it than my own takes on banana bread. I try not to spend too much time staring into the Glowing Anxiety Rectangle that is as ubiquitous as it is addictive, but there was a weekend of goings-on and chats to catch up on, and it's not like I had much else to do while sitting in a comfy chair watching planes come and go. Eventually it was time for my flight back to Bend, and I sat next to an older lady heading there to babysit her grandkid. I mentioned I was in Palm Springs for a Warhammer tournament, she asked if I went to Modern Games here in town. I answered in the affirmative - almost every Wednesday - and we had a pleasant flight back. I read a bit of The Black Company by Glen Cook, and while I'm not sure I like it or not yet, it has the air of a foundational text to it. The writing is sparse in a way that can be hard to follow - a lot of "oh by the way, we killed that guy and left town a month ago" in the span of a sentence, context added as afterthought without much room for romance or texture. Before long I was home, picked up again by my buddy Kenny, and back to my comfortable abode in this snowy little corner of Oregon.

Let's Close This Out

On that first night hitting the town with Max, he mused that this all felt a little irresponsible. How can we be rolling dice, drinking beers, and goofing off at a resort while the world outside descends into chaos and cruelty? This is no Masque of the Red Death, (we already lived through that in 2020) but it can feel at odds with the seriousness of the world around us to be playing Warhammer for a weekend instead of doing something - anything - to help. I find joy as an act of resistance to be both ">a great IDLES album, as well an easy veil to hide behind. It can quickly turn into burying your head in the sand, but there's a difference between smoking weed and playing video games at home versus building community and proving to yourself why life is worth living in the real world. As dire as things are right now, and as dire as things are liable to be in the alarmingly near future, I'd rather face it with the friends I've made playing these games than face it alone. Staying informed about pending conflicts, jackbooted thugs seizing people on the street, and the collapse of any and every system meant to prevent these very outcomes isn't the same as wrapping oneself in the misery of it. I'm not going to say that going to a Warhammer tournament is going to be some hugely life-affirming event that gives you the clarity to see your way through the dark, but stepping back from routine to bask in the sun and make some memories with people you care about is a better option than most. The little lights we have and the connections we make are how we'll survive tomorrow and the day after, and anything after that can wait.

Until then, I've got more chainsword attacks to make.

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Tags: Warhammer 40k | events and challenges | Events and Tournaments | palm springs