Goonhammer Historicals: Using the Cinema in your Sharp Practice Games

Back in the day when we only had a few channels, we always had to watch ads, and we couldn't record anything or stream at all; we had the usual weekly night scheduled shows, reruns, the news, and then we had the MINI SERIES. These were usually high-profile events that were advertised in TV Guide (it was a magazine you could buy in the checkout aisle that would tell you all the dates and times of all the shows you wanted to watch, because there was no internet or cable boxes that would show it on your screen) and included medium to high profile actors that you wanted to see.

Nowadays they're very common on streaming services, with new historical drama mini-series (they're not repeating seasons) coming out all the time. They make good stories that we can use on the table top - they're shorter, so you don't have to recreate the entire six seasons in your game, and usually the characters are absolute caricatures that can easily be statted out.

North and South

One of my favorite series growing up that I watched with my mom was North and South. Not the British one about class struggle, but the American one about families involved in military and socio-economic conflict from the US-Mexican War all the way past the Civil War. There were three mini series, starting with Book I in 1984, Book II in 1985, and Book III in 1994. They're all based on (obviously) books written by John Jakes - three absolutely massive page turners at a whopping 2,459 pages total, called North and South, Love and War, and Heaven and Hell. They're definitely historical dramas with some romance kicked in. It was nominated for 10 Emmys and won one.

Elkanah Bent at the Battle of Churubusco. Credit: Warner Bros

The story follows two families - the Mains of South Carolina, and the Hazards of Pennsylvania. The Mains are slaveowners, holding a huge plantation near Charleston, South Carolina. The Mains themselves try to paint themselves as 'good' slaveowners, saying they don't beat their slaves and all that - but they do often fall back into everything we know about slaveowners back then. They hire a vicious overseer who whips and brands the slaves, Orry Main (played by Patrick Swayze, the main character) mentions that slaves are just like children, they need a fatherly person to oversee them. One of the Mains who had been having a romantic relationship with an enslaved woman actually mentions to her that he's so annoyed that the Mains treating him like a piece of crap... almost like their slave, and how terrible that is. She tells the dude that now he knows what she feels like; which, to be honest, was pretty groundbreaking to me as a show from 1984.

North and South title image. Credit: Warner Bros

The Hazards from Pennsylvania own an iron working facility that turns out iron that goes all over the country. George Hazard is the main character, with his brother Stanley Hazard (Jonathon Frakes! - he met his wife on set) and sister Virgilia Hazard (Kirstie Alley) helping or hindering him along the way. Stanley is the usual buffoon failson who has a domineering wife; Virgilia is an abolitionist who is also hot and the main attention getter for many of the male characters. She takes no prisoners in her efforts to abolish slavery, and is often labeled crazy by her family (which the viewers will see as unfair). Much of the series is dedicated to her, Stanley, and Orry's sister Ashton trying to manipulate their ways to the top.

There are other characters in the series who are some absolutely insane casting calls:

David Carradine plays the typical southern plantation owner who is brutal, vicious, and domineering
Billy Dee Williams plays a South Carolina politician, Francis Lewis Cardozo
Johnny Cash plays JOHN BROWN
Morgan Fairchild plays Burdetta Halloran, mistress of Elkanah Bent
Hal Holbrook plays Honest Abe Lincoln
Robert Mitchum plays an Irish surgeon in the US-Mexican War
Elizabeth Taylor plays Madam Conti, a bordello owner
Wayne Newton plays a vicious officer who runs Libby Prison in Richmond
Jimmy Stewart is in Book II as Miles Colbert
Forest Whitaker plays the enslaved stable attendant

The main antagonist in the series is an absolute bastard named Elkanah Bent. In the books he's from Ohio (naturally) but in the TV series he's from Georgia. Here's Elkanah:

[video width="852" height="480" mp4="https://assets.goonhammer.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Elkenah_Bent_Enthusiasm.mp4"][/video]

He's up there with Obadiah Hakeswill from Sharpe as just entirely awful. He attempts to kill Orry and George at every turn; tries to ruin their US Army careers at West Point, and then later becomes a blockade runner.

I absolutely love this series. Like I said before, I watched this with my mom during the early 90s after Gettysburg, PBS Ken Burns series, Glory, etc. during the huge national interest in the Civil War. While there are some attempts by the main characters to whitewash their support of slavery, the series does make them out to be the actual bastards they are. Insane stuff happens like Patrick Swayze not wanting to be in the third series so they kill his character off in the first few minutes without even showing him; it's just a silhouette. And Johnny Cash plays John Brown. Insane.

One part of the reason I've been so interested in the US-Mexican War has been because they spend a lot of time there in Book I. Orry and George are sent there as regular lieutenants, while Elkanah Bent somehow worms his way into being a Major who can command them.

Using North and South in Sharp Practice

We can use all of these characters in Sharp Practice. We're going to focus on the military officers for this one, as they were the ones most involved in the US-Mexican War. Most of the other secondary characters could be used in Civil War Sharp Practice games. This particular set of ratings would be for their performance at the Battle of Churubusco.

Orry Main

Let's start with Patrick Swayze's character Orry Main. He's a southern plantation owner who is loyal to his family, athletic, a good horseman, not as smart as others, and also blinded by his love of the south to how inhuman slavery is.

The Officer's breeding. Credit: TooFatLardies

Page 58 of the Sharp Practice rules leads us on how to create officers and stat them out. Chart A shows their breeding; Orry will be a an officer who is nobility with wealth and influence. His family has a ton of money, land, and enslaved people. During the game, this may help him talk to people who are blocking his way, convince characters to help him, etc.

The personality chart. Credit: TooFatLardies

The personality chart largely leads to having honourable characters; Orry is indeed an honourable character, for the most part. He does have an affair with a married woman, Madeline. She's married to the piece of shit Justin LaMotte, David Caradine's character, who is a vicious slaveowner, misogynist, and wifebeater, so we can forgive Orry for trying to get her out of that.

Skills table. Credit: TooFatLardies

Orry would likely have multiple skills here; he showed master swordsman abilities at West Point, defeating Elkanah Bent. He is a fine horseman, so he'd get View Halloo. He's also just an overall athlete so he'd get Sporting Life. These skills would help him in duels, when he's attempting to cross barriers or other special tasks with a horse, and when moving heavy objects or carrying things.

Physique table. Credit: TooFatLardies

Patrick Swayze was 5'10" and fit, but not especially hulking or sickly. We'd rate him an Average Stamp, so when he's doing tasks he won't be penalized or gain an advantage.

Looks chart. Credit: TooFatLardies

The Looks chart is one of the funniest things in any TFL publication. When attempting to converse with locals or convince people to do things, if you're not looksmaxxing then it'll be tougher for you.

Damn. Look at that hair. Look at it. Credit: Warner Bros. Television

Swayze is a known leading main in Hollywood from the 80s and 90s, involved in a ton of steamy movies. We have to rate him a Handsome Devil here. That'll help him, again, when making interactions with other characters.

Charisma chart. Credit: TooFatLardies

Overall, Orry is not the Rizzler, but usually he's very pleasant to be around, and keeps his thoughts to himself. During the US-Mexican War in particular he was pretty upset that he couldn't be married to Madeline, and was a bit distant at times. We'd rate him at Pleasant due to that reason. If he's not thinking about that, he'd probably be Charming.

The last thing we need to do is assign Orry a leader status level. While he's brave and willing to get into combat, Orry is not a natural military mind. We'd rate him a II.

George Hazard

Orry Main is pretty easy to stat out; he's basically the star of the show. Stanley's brother George Hazard is a little more behind the scenes and not as flashy. His family owns a huge ironworks facility. He's a hard worker, and a very intelligent guy. He knows what is right and wrong and even though his best friend is Orry, he's an abolitionist at heart.

George would have the following character traits:

His breeding would be nobility with wealth and influence. His family has tons of money and regularly lobbies politicians for the stuff they want
His personality would be honourable; while during his time at West Point it's clear that he loves spending time with lots of women (like a Cad), he is an honourable person at heart
He is not super naturally skilled at the things an officer might need - however he is strong, so we'd give him Sporting Life
George is tall but not super jacked; we'd rate him an Average Stamp
George manages to pull an absolutely gorgeous wife in Constance; we'd rate him a Good Looking Chap
Part of the rizz that he employs to attract women would be his Charisma; while Orry is just Pleasant due to his emo-ness from being denied Madeline, we'd rate George as Affable - he can be polite and charm most anyone in the show
George is an intelligent strategic thinker and has an excellent military mind; we'd rate him a leader status level III.

Elkanah Bent

Easily one of the biggest pieces of shit that we've seen in a military drama series, Major Bent is a menace to society. He constantly bullies people physically, emotionally, and socially; he is a womanizer; he cheats people; he is willing (and does) to commit murder. He has no redeeming qualities (except maybe that he's not from Ohio?).

Bent is the secret son of an affair that the Senator of Georgia had with his mother. He blackmails the Senator into give him a West Point nomination and then a promotion to Major. We'd rate him the illegitimate offspring of nobility on the Breeding chart.
Bent is not a gentleman, despite all his attempts. He's a Bounder on the personality chart; he'll offer bribes, doesn't help people in distress, and will attempt to woo women if that helps him.
Bent is not super skillful, but we'd rate him with an Impressive Weapon on the skill chart simply because he's willing to fight dirty - like he did after the battle of Churubusco when he and George brawled, and he pulled a knife.
Like George and Orry, he's an Average Stamp when it comes to Physique.
On the Looks chart, we'd rate him as Plain and unremarkable. He does eventually enter a relationship with Morgan Fairchild's character (!) but it seems like most of his success is based on his ability to cheat and manipulate.
Bent's Charisma is definitely defined by his absolute piece-of-shit status. He's a Vile individual. It's going to be hard for him not to use force on characters to get them to do what he wants.
We'd rate Bent as a leader status level II. He's West Point trained and knows how to fight, but doesn't inspire anyone.

Final Thoughts

North and South is a great series to watch if you're interested in military drama, American History, or especially the US-Mexican War and Civil War. While the uniforms and costumes are not great, the acting usually is and the story is excellent. There are some inaccurate weapons and definitely some soldiers shooting left-handed but overall it's worth a watch. You can stream it on Prime or find it on DVD elsewhere.

In our next character article we'll stat out some of the supporting characters and walk you through how they might interact with our main characters. Thanks for reading!

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Tags: historicals | sharp practice | us / mexican war | north and south